I'll Stand By You
by CurlyAkemy
Summary: (Post Series) Emma's sick and needs to go to Boston for treatment. Everyone has kids and responsibilities in Storybrooke, so she is going to set out on her own. Leaving her family, her best friend the Queen, and even her babygirl behind to get the help she needs. It will be a fight to get healthy again, but a surprise visitor follows her to Boston to make sure she's taken care of.
1. Part 1 - Emma

(Post Series) Emma's sick and needs to go to Boston for treatment. Everyone has kids and responsibilities in Storybrooke, so she is going to set out on her own. Leaving her family, her best friend the Queen, and even her babygirl behind to get the help she needs. It will be a fight to get healthy again, but a surprise visitor follows her to Boston to make sure she's taken care of properly. Things change for the better in many ways. Light story about fighting the big C. Not angsty, but very comfort/feely I hope. First time writing in first person so be kind.

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I'll Stand by You - Part 1 Emma

Sitting in the bay window in the living room of my house, watching the rain fall down. I couldn't help but cry at the irony. The light drizzle was unexpected and was supposed to burn out before the big day tomorrow, but the dark and dreary weather fit my mood perfectly.

I remember reading somewhere that you will never know the depth of someone's love for you until they've taken care of you while you were sick. I always thought that it meant bringing your girlfriend or boyfriend chicken noodle soup and vapor rub when they had a cold or the flu. Making sure they had enough tissues to keep their nose dry, and magazines to keep them busy.

I never even fathomed that situation as being life or death, because those two things were associated with every other aspect of our lives living in Storybrooke. We were always facing a new evil, a new big bad, or a never ending series of curses. Along with the inhabitance of this town, I had become quiet adept at facing life threatening situations and apocalypses by now. Growing up an orphan and not depending on anyone, becoming a thief to survive. Even fighting my destiny here in Storybrooke only to accept it completely. In my many lives I never even considered the possibility of my body being my biggest foe.

It had never occurred to me before now, that no one in Storybrooke had ever been struck with a 'real world' disease. There were enough kids increasing the populations in the realms, to not have the usual smaller viruses run through the town when it was that time of season. My parents were always getting sick because of Neil and the twins. Even Hope had been through her bouts with the sniffles.

About a month ago when I started loosing weight, and not eating double bacon cheeseburgers like they were going out of style, I knew something was wrong. I made an excuse with my family to visit Boston last week on my own, and made an appointment with a real doctor. Last thing I needed was Whale running these test, and having the town know what was going on before I did.

It took all of a day to get a call telling me it was cancer. A surgery that I had debated on after giving birth to Henry could have prevented this, but hindsight and all that bullshit. Not knowing my family's medical history back then, I had contemplated having everything removed as to not risk medical complications like this. Now, my own fucking uterus had turned against me and brought my ovaries into the fray.

I had passed on the procedure back then because I think a part of me knew that I would eventually want kids again some day. So even with the stress of my pregnancy behind bars, and giving Henry up for adoption, I opted out. I believe that's why having Hope felt like such a blessing for me. Even if Killian and I were no longer together now, I had a second chance to raise a baby. I had indulged in delusions of havin more children, but now a lot of options were being taking off the table with this single diagnosis.

I came back from Boston two days ago, after making a game plan with the oncologist, and prepared myself to tell my family. I called the entire clan and set up a dinner at my parent's farm for tomorrow. Regina had some Queen business going on, but would be joining us afterwards. A part of me wished I could pulled her aside like I used to, and tell her first. She could calmed me down enough to talk to everyone else, but I couldn't do that to her. Not with this. Call me a coward, but I knew I could only get the words out once.

Since the uniting of the realms, our small town had remained miniature in comparison to the others. Only the dynamics had changed slightly. Every realm functioned individually, but they all reported to Regina as the Queen of the United Realms. Most of us were surprised that her throne had never been challenged. None more so than Regina herself. I assured her that along with the people's newfound respect for her, some were still equally scared of her enough to shut the hell up. A statement that had earned me a hard punch in the arm, but a chuckle nonetheless.

I missed not seeing Regina as often as I use to, but that came with the territory of being Queen I suppose. Add to the fact that I hadn't been Sheriff of Storybrooke for some time, so we did't have reason to see each other on a professionally capacity either. After splitting up with Killian, taking care of Hope and being their for the two Henrys became my priority. I still held a seat on the United Realms Council, and Regina brought me and my parents in to discuss our opinions on some heavier decisions. For the most part, though, things in the Untied Realms had been peaceful. So the need to collaborate or conference was near to non-existent.

The post of Storybrooke's Sheriff was now taken up by Duey, or 'Wishverse Henry' if you really wanted to piss him off. He hated both nicknames, but had accepted Duey a long time ago. It helped our relationship that we had both retained our memories from that nightmare wishverse. The only positive thing to come out of that world was the memories I had from raising him from a baby. It did take him some time to adjust to this world, but he was happy to have me back in his life, and I had a lot of fun with him. He now took up residence in the old loft along with his dog, Bolt.

Older Henry, or 'Kid' as I still called him, was making a go of it as a writer. The sequel to his fairytale book had been a huge hit in Europe, and his two books were now getting a second wind here in the states. He and Jacenda bought a home near the waterfront for them and Lucy, and were awaiting Lucy's little sister due in a couple of months.

Mom and Dad's horse farm was on the outskirts of town, and also housed sheep and some cattle. Dad ran a horseback riding business off their property, and Mom was now the superintendent for the schools of the United Realms. She, of course, had refused to give up the title of "Princess Snow."

The rain stopped and I was thrown back to reality. Looking at the clock above my mantel, I saw I had less than 24 hours to woman up and get ready for the big reveal. The nausea in the pit of my stomach had not let up. I knew that a happy go lucky family like mine would be devastated by this news, and it truly was the last thing I wanted to do.

The clouds had cleared up the next day, and it came time for me to confess my diagnosis. My family all sat around my parent's ridiculously long picnic table in their back yard, eating burgers and hot dogs. I almost chickened out completely, but decided to wait until all the kids were tucked in for the night instead. Regina arrived just in time to do her rounds of goodnight with the children that adored her. When she joined us, we all sat out on my parent's porch with coffee and pie.

"So guys, I have a bit of news I need to share with you," I began softly and tried swallowing the lump in my throat. "I told you guys that I went to Boston earlier this month to visit an old friend that was sick in the hospital. I'm really sorry to say this, but I lied to you. I did go to a hospital in Boston, but there was no sick friend. As it turns out the sick one... is me."

I watched my mom take my dads hand tightly. Everyone else tensed around me but remained quiet, waiting for me continue.

"About a month ago, I started noticing that I wasn't feeling well, and I wasn't able to shake it off as quickly as I use to. I kept thinking Hope had given me a stomach bug or something. Or that all the spicey food Regina had been warning me off of for years, had finally given me an ulcer like she said it would."

I saw Regina smirk only briefly, but her eyes were already glazed over with worry.

"So I went to Boston to run some test and see a doctor that wasn't Whale. I figured that they could also screen for more things if necessary. Guys, there's no easy way to say this or sugarcoat it so I'm just going to come out with it. They found cancer in both my uterus and my ovaries."

I didn't have to look up to know the gasp came from my mom. Or that Duey was probably clenching his jaw in order to hold in his emotions. Older Henry was running a shakey hand through his hair, as he always did when he was at a lose for words. Just like his grandfather. I knew a number of questions and thoughts were waiting to be let loose from all of them, but none came forward so I continued with less nerves in my voice.

"Good news is that I've been told they caught it pretty early, so they're positive that with treatment I'll be able to beat this. But I am going to need to head back to Boston for treatment as soon as possible." I could hear my Mom start to interrupt, "Before you ask, I already checked, and our hospital here is not equipped for this. If you think about it, Mom, we've never had a case of cancer pop up here in Storybrooke. All I can figure is that maybe it's from all my years in the real world. There's really no way to know the why or how about this. Either way, I'll need to go to Boston for a couple of months, maybe more. They want me to do three rounds of chemo, one every two weeks, before surgery. Then another three rounds after I've recovered from surgery."

"We'll go with you. We'll be there to take care of you and support you." My Mom said adamantly.

"Mom, I love you, but you know you can't. You guys have Neil and the twins to take care of. You all have responsibilities here. I appreciate it, honestly I do, but I know it would be next to impossible for any of you to get away for that long. As it is, I'm going to ask Killian to move back into my place to take care of Hope while I'm gone. He's really been stepping up for both of us, and I want you to know I trust him to do this. I've also set things up to stay at a cancer rehabilitation center in Boston while I'm there. I'll be taken care of."

Older Henry came forward to hug her.

"Can we at least come and visit you?"

I squeezed him hard, and threw as big of a reassuring smile I could muster at Duey. He took his turn as soon as the Kid released me.

"I couldn't stop you if I tried. But I ask that you guys give me some time to adjust. This might kick my ass for a bit, and I don't think I'll be much for company. But guys, I am coming back here after surgery, and before the second round of chemo. I'll be back before you know it."

I received hugs and well wishes from everyone, but I could tell they were still trying to process everything. Hell, so was I.

The morning I was leaving for Boston, everyone but Regina showed up at my door to surprise me and see me off. Regina's absence was odd to me, but Mom told me she had been called into an emergency meeting the night before that had carried into that morning. She, herself, had left the meeting to come say goodbye. I kissed and hugged each of them goodbye one by one. Getting cards and drawings from all the kids, and holding onto Hope until the last possible moment. I was glad that she was too young to really know what was going on, and prayed that she wouldn't remember my absence.

Killian, for his part, had agreed to help however he could. He even reactivated his phone so I could communicate with him and Hope whenever I wanted. He may not have been a good husband, but was starting to be a great father. I think his doppelgänger smacked some sense into him by example. Alice was proof that he could be a father Hope could be proud of.

I was fighting heartache everyday since learning I was going to be separated from her for this. There was just no way for me to know if I'd be able to care for her while going through treatment, and there'd be no one to care for her during and after surgery. So, although it was a huge weight off my shoulders knowing Hope would be safe with Killian and my family, it didn't make leaving her behind any easier.

I loaded up my trusty beetle and headed out the day before my first appointment. Another secret I hid from everyone was the fact that I wouldn't be staying at the rehab facility the whole time I was in Boston. Truth be told, there was no way I could afford to stay there my whole time away. So I rented out a small furnished apartment on Boston's south side.

It was a small studio that had a Murphy bed in the same room as the kitchen and the bathtub/shower. The kitchen consisted of a mini fridge, a sink, and a counter with a microwave. The toilet had it's own little closet, next to my one and only other closet. It was a little ghetto, but it would do. What other choice did I have?

That night, I found myself looking in the dinky mirror over the sink, and running my fingers through my hair. I wondered how much of my hair would still be there after all of this. I was told there was a chance I could keep it with the type of chemo they were going to give me, but it always depended on the person.

A pang of guilt hit me at the vain feeling of loosing my blonde hair. I had always been proud of my awesome hair. My curls and texture were always on point, even straight out of the shower. I remembered Regina teasing, "Of course the Charming's daughter has a perfect blonde mane. I'm surprised you didn't come out with a button nose and dimpled chin, like a cherub."

Regina. I left Storybrooke with an upset that bordered on anger at not seeing her one last time. Why couldn't the Queen of the United Realms step away from her duties for a couple of minutes to say goodbye to her best friend? She's the frickin' Queen. I had to be understanding though. The night I told my family, she had come to me afterwards with a silent but firm hug. It felt like she wanted to say more when she didn't let go of me after a beat, so I squeezed back.

"You'll beat this, Emma. That disease doesn't stand a chance."

A small but steady comfort to me, but I felt it harder than anyone else's well wishes.

The next morning, I took a cab to the hospital and checked in. The kind nurses there led me to my station and began setting things up, and taking my vitals. The volunteers there were pretty amazing too. They brought me juice and snacks, and because some patients tended to get cold during treatment, they even brought me a blanket. With my IV hooked up and the drip flowing, I closed my eyes, sat back in the firm but comfortable chair, and tried to forget what I was doing there.

"You know, somehow I knew you'd forget to wear something warm. Lucky for you, I brought your lucky beanie."

I didn't open my eyes, wondering what exactly these drugs were doing to my mind in a matter of seconds to make me hear things. I felt a beanie being placed on my head and opened my eyes to see Regina tisking disapprovingly as she took a seat on a small stool in front of me.

"Regina?"

I surprised myself with the squeak that came out with her name.

"What the-."

She held up her hand instantly silencing me.

"You didn't honestly think you were going to do this all on your own. Did you, Miss Swan?"

I made sure there was no one in earshot to hear us, but leaned forward nonetheless to whisper.

"Well, yeah. Regina, you're the frickin' Queen. You're the last person I thought could leave Storybrooke. What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to be with you as long as you need me, or rather, until I deem necessary. And as of this morning, your mother is the acting Queen."

"What?!"

"I called a meeting last night and explained your situation to the council, under strict sworn secrecy. I told them the penalty for a breach, or just plain pissing me off, would be left to my imagination. So I can assure you that no one will talk."

"Okay, that wasn't really a concern given we're talking about irritating you, but how? Why?"

"I've taken a leave of absence from the throne. I'm here with the council's blessing, and they all send their well wishes. I will say, however, that if anyone breaks the oath, it will be your mother. When she does, she's all yours because I won't be held responsible for my actions if it is left up to me."

"You left the kingdom to be here with me?"

"Oh, don't act so surprised, Emma. You're delusional if you honestly thought you were going to go through something like this on your own. What kind of best friend would I be if I wasn't here with you for something like this? I am here to go to the store for your medications, make sure you eat what you can, hold your hair back if you need to puke, and just be here for you."

"Hold my hair while I puke?"

"Wouldn't be the first time."

I couldn't help but laugh with her at that, and we leaned forward again to hug. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face at the trill of having her with me.

"Thank you, Regina."

Before she could respond, a volunteer came by with a cart of games.

"Would you and your wife like a chess set, cards, or a board game to play, Mrs. Swan?"

"A chess set would be lovely, dear. Thank you." Regina smiled at the girl and took the box from her.

I reached on the side of my recliner and pulled out the tray table extension. When the girl was gone, I turned back to Regina with amused questioning eyes.

"Wife?"

"I had to tell them something to let me back here without too many questions. But if anyone asks, you marked single on your paperwork because we were separated, but we are still legally married. We reunited after your diagnosis, and are trying to work things out."

"That's awfully detailed."

"You also cheated on me, but I put my feelings aside to help you out of pity."

"Pfft! Now that's just a down right lie. Like I would ever cheat on you."

"Alright, fine. But I am taking care of you out of pity."

"Liar."

She smiled and went to open her purse, pulling out a small ring with a generous sapphire setting. Placing the ring on my finger, she spoke a bit louder so any nurses nearby could hear.

"You forgot your wedding ring by the vanity again, sweetheart. What would you do without me?"

"What, indeed."

I looked down at the impressive ring. It wasn't my style, and a bit on the larger side than what I was use to.

"Eh, I could do worse."

"Correction, dear. You have."

We played a couple of rounds of chess before I began feeling tired. Regina put it away, and urged me to lay back to relax. When I was done with the treatment, and against my insistence, one of the volunteers wheeled me out to the curb in a wheelchair. Hoping into a cab to head back to my apartment, I could see that as we drove further away, Regina was becoming more confused by where we were going.

"How far is this rehab facility?"

"About that. Don't be mad, but-"

"Oh, why is it those words always start a sentence that is going to do exactly that?"

"I sort of lied to you and my family."

"And the tradition continues. What did you do now?"

"It's nothing major, okay? It's just that the rehab center I told you guys about is only set up for the two weeks following my surgery."

"Oh. Well then I'm not mad."

"Seriously? Thank you, Regina. I can't tell you how much-"

"I'm furious! Are you kidding me, Emma? Where did you plan on staying? At some rundown motel filled with contagious diseases, harlots and thieves?"

"Harlots and thieves? Really, I-"

"And who was going to take care of you? No one? Are you quiet serious?"

"I've taken care of myself after being beaten down before, Regina. I would have been fine. AND I rented a small studio to stay in until after surgery and before going home. I'm not a complete child."

"That remains to be seen as we are heading into the south side."

She said it like she already knew what awaited us. My initial reaction was that of anger in defense, but now I was ashamed by what I had to confess.

"I couldn't really afford anything else, Regina. It's in the same neighborhood where I use to live before Storybrooke. Figured I could do it again since I had to. But now that we brought it up, this place isn't going to be big enough for the two of us."

"Why aren't you staying in Neil's old apartment?"

"I had that thought too, but apparently the building burned down about a year ago. I'm glad Henry and I went up that summer to empty it out of anything the Kid wanted of Neil's."

Regina looked like she was going to say something else snarky, but stoped short and remained quiet the rest of the ride. When we arrived I could tell she was really biting her tongue. We passed the broken elevator in the lobby and climbed the stairs to the third floor. All without her saying a word.

By the time we got to my door, she had to take the keys out of my shakey hands to open it for me. Her worried frown turn into a deep grimace of disgust when she took in the studio, and helped me sit on the bed.

"Oh, we are so not staying here. Grab your things, Emma. We're leaving immediately."

"Regina, I told you. This is all I can afford while I'm here."

"Well, it's not all that I can afford so point me to your bags. I'm packing up your things right now and we're going to my hotel. It will be more appropriate quarters and there's room for the both of us. We'll have to stop back at the hospital, however, as I fear we may need a tetanus shot when we leave here."

I held in my comeback because I truly didn't have the energy to argue. Regina was too refine to stay in a place like this anyway, and I don't mean that in a condescending way. She deserves the Ritz not Motel 6. I pointed to my open luggage case behind me that was still filled with all my things.

"I never unpacked."

Stuffing everything back into the case and zipping it up, she pulled out her phone and called for another cab to pick us up in twenty minutes. Giving me time to make my way back downstairs with her help. At some point in the cab, I must have closed my eyes to stop my stomach from flipping, because when I opened them again we were in front of a swanky looking hotel, with a doorman opening my door to help me out.

To my surprise the doorman had a wheelchair with him and helped me into it with a sincere smile. Two concierges appeared and one stepped behind me to push the chair while the other took my suitcase from Regina. She tipped the men generously for escorting us to the room and offering to help me to the couch or bed. I respectfully declined to the sound of Regina's disapproving guffaw. They men quickly left to avoid the possibly awkward spat.

"You're something else, Regina."

I chuckled, watching her stop by the mini kitchen before walking toward me and handing me a ginger ale.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. What do you mean?"

"You. Walking into this hotel, still ever the Queen. I'm surprised those concierges didn't genuflect before leaving just now."

I looked around the suite and noticed there were two bedrooms, one across the other on opposite sides of the living room and kitchen area.

"You had this planned, didn't you?"

She said nothing but walked toward one of the rooms to kick off her heels. I heard her sigh out of sight before she walked back to the kitchen to get herself a bottle of water. Coming and taking a seat next to me, she finally met my eyes but still hesitated.

"Come on. Be honest."

"It is I that wants you to be honest, Emma. Why didn't you tell me that you were ill?"

I wasn't expecting that, but she hadn't said it in an accusatory tone. The look on her face was telling me I wasn't going to be able to dodge the obvious question any longer.

"Because at first I couldn't accept it myself, okay. I could tell something was wrong with me, but hell, my worse case scenario before getting diagnosed was it was another curse. You know things are messed up when you wish for something like that."

"You're deflecting."

"Fine. I was scared out of my mind, okay. I was afraid of finding out what was wrong with me. I also didn't want to freak anyone else out until I knew more. But Regina, I promise that I didn't wait or hesitate too long before getting checked out. I mean, I'm here aren't I?"

"You could have talked to me, Emma. You should have talked to me."

I knew her tone was meant to give me attitude, but the avoidance of her eyes and the sadness in her voice took the venom out of it.

"Listen, I know I've had a lot on my plate being the Queen, but you should have known... My being Queen will never get in the way of being there for you. Especially with something like this."

"I know. I'm sorry I didn't come to you, but trust me when I say that it's all I've really wanted to do through this whole thing. All I wanted to do was come cry on your shoulder while you fed me your apple cider and told me to calm the hell down. I wanted to confide in you so badly, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. And while yes, you have enough on your plate as Queen, I didn't want to worry you without knowing more. I confess that I also didn't think I could get the words 'I have cancer' out twice. That's why I gathered everyone together. I was scared, and I'm sorry."

I met her eyes with every ounce of sincerity in me, trying my dampest to show the truth behind my words. She released the heavy sigh I knew was coming and moved closer onto the seat next to me, drapping her arm behind me. I instantly leaned into her offered comfort.

Subject seemingly dropped, we leaned our heads together and sat in comfortable silence for a bit. My body relaxing further against her as she began raking fingers through my hair. I maneuvered my arms around her waist and tried to relax.

"This is new."

"What is, dear?"

"You're cuddling me."

She pushed my head away and made like she was getting up, but I pulled her back down with a laugh.

"Knock it off. You know I'm messing. You have to admit it, though. We've never done this before. At least not without Henry between us."

"While that may be true, I assure you that this is not cuddling. This is comforting. I am comforting you."

"Sounds a lot like cuddling."

"I'm going to my room, you're exhausting."

I again pulled her back down when she made to get up. This time laying my head in her lap, and taking her hand to put it back in my hair. Adding a cheeky grin seemed to do the trick, and she was running her fingers through my hair again. Albeit with her royal roll of the eyes in amusement.

"Are you sure you don't want to go lay down in bed, Emma? How are you feeling?"

"Better now that we're not in a Boston city cab. I'm comfy right here, though. I don't want to move."

"Well, good. Don't move then. Do you want to watch television or anything? Henry had me grab your Rizzoli and Isles DVDs."

"The kid knows you're here?"

"I'm sure everyone does by now. I did put your mother in charge after all."

"Regina."

"Well, color me surprised that she didn't tell you I was coming before I crossed the Storybrooke town line."

"Honestly I'm little surprised too. She didn't give anything away when I spoke to her last night."

"Well, Snow's tattling habits aside, we found the same common ground we've always agreed upon. You. I didn't want you fighting me on this, and she agreed you probably would if you knew I was coming."

"You're right, I would have."

She released a satisfied huff, but continued playing with my hair. Letting myself sink into her and indulge in the closeness, I decided to push my luck a bit.

"You didn't answer my earlier question. You plan all of this, didn't you?"

"Oh of course I did, Emma. And after seeing that disastrous apartment, you should be glad I did. You could have easily gotten some sort of infection living there, and in your condition."

I couldn't argue with her. Hell, after getting there and seeing the leaks and mildew stains, the thought had crossed my mind many times. She was right, and there was only one thing I could say to that.

"You're right. Thank you, Regina."

"No thanks are necessary. Now do you think you can stomach some lunch? I can order us room service."

The bait was hooked, I had to go for it. Mustering up the most snobbish sophisticated accent I could, I pulled my shoulders back and stuck my nose in the air.

"Yes, darling. I'll have the lobster tail with the cavier side dish. Oh! And champagne. We simply must have champagne. Do tell the help to hurry, though, as I am positively famished."

"Is there no end to your sarcasm?"

"Not so far, Muffy."

"So help me-"

"Yes, Regina. I would like to try and eat something. I don't know if I'll regret it later, but it's better that I have something in here to throw up just in case, right?"

She huffed and rose quickly from the couch, making me fall back onto the cushions she vacated. We ordered and ate lunch before I excused myself to go take a nap.

This became our routine. The first round of chemo seemed to take it a bit easier on me than the second round. Regina got her chance to hold my hair back when my stomach emptied for what seemed that entire night. She was amazing though. She always had saltines at the ready so my stomach wasn't hit so hard.

She had a medical tray brought to our suite for me to eat in bed comfortably, and kept me busy with jigsaw puzzles, sudoku and even chess. More often than not, we both curled up on my bed to watch television together, and I would often wake to her sleeping against me.

It was shortly after my second round that Regina refused to leave my side. She confessed she was afraid I would need her in the middle of the night, and wouldn't be able to hear me from across the suite. So it became an unspoken understanding that we sleep in my bed. It was not as awkward as I thought it'd be, but it was definitely an adjustment. Especially when she'd rub my stomach for me when I wasn't feeling right. I loved every moment of it.

It was shortly after my third round of chemo, while taking a shower, that some of my hair began to fall. Every time I ran my hands through it, strands of it would come out in my hands. In hindsight it wasn't a lot of hair, but I still ended up sitting on the shower floor, crying until the water became cold.

Regina had come knocking on the door when I didn't come out right away. I quickly put on my robe and opened the door. The look on my face must have been a fright, because Regina instantly took me in her arms and led me to the bed. I collapsed with my head in her lap and began to sob in earnest. She ran her hands over my shoulders and back until I calmed down enough to fall asleep at some point. When I woke up by myself, night had fallen. I put my pajamas and beanie on to go look for her.

I walked out of my room and caught Regina talking to one of the concierges in hushed tones. The young man nodded with a kind smile, before taking a tip from her and leaving. Seems that the young concierge had brought Regina a set of hair clippers and a bottle of THC/CBD pills. Two things happened that night; Regina got me high, then shaved my head.

She informed me her research had shown THC/CBD combinations were widely used for cancer patients, and helped with pain and nausea immensely. All I can say with certainty, is that I hadn't felt that loose since I was in high school. I even swooned a bit when Regina said I looked like a rock star with my head shaved. Only she could have made loosing all my hair sound sexy.

The week before my surgery we received a visit from the family in intervals. My Mom even made sure each of them had a doctor's note giving them a clean bill of health to visit me, so as to not impede my surgery or recovery. Mom left the thrown for three days with the council in charge of any emergencies. She and my Dad came without my baby siblings, but brought Duey along with them.

Then the kid came with Jacinda and Lucy for a couple of days, too. They surprised me by bringing Hope with them, and I cried for a solid thirty minutes while holding her. She got a real kick out of rubbing my bald head, making me feel about a thousand times better than I had since leaving her.

The night before my surgery was an emotional one. Regina and I tried watching television in the living room after dinner, but nothing on the screen could hold my attention. My mind was going a mile a minute about what the next day would bring.

We had gone to the hospital earlier that day for some pre-op paperwork and tests. As per hospital policy I had to fill out paperwork for my advance directive, letting the hospital know what measures I would want taken, be it worse case scenarios or possible alternate high risk procedures. All things that I had never put much thought into and was now freaking me out.

Regina was a bit shocked when I asked her to be my power of attorney, if I were no longer able to make decisions for myself. I assured her that despite the fact that she was the only one physically with me, she was the only one I trusted with my best interest above all others. She agreed.

Since filling out the grip of questions and paperwork, however, my mind just couldn't stop thinking about all those 'What if's' that had been listed. I couldn't focus, and whatever inner rant my mind was on was only paused by Regina's worried voice.

"You seem a little restless, dear. Do you want to try going to bed? We have to be at the hospital by five in the morning. It might be a good idea to get to bed early."

"It's only seven-thirty."

"Yes, Emma. But like our son, you do better with a solid eight hours of sleep. You won't be grumpy in the morning when I wake you before sun up."

"I guess you're right, but I don't think my mind's going to let me sleep tonight."

"The pills aren't helping?"

"Oh I'm loose as a goose, but it's not shutting my brain off. If anything my mind's gone all philosophical."

She released a gentle laugh with the carefree smile reserved for Henry and me.

"Really?

"Yeah, you know. I'm replaying moments in my life. Thinking about all the good and the fun times. Our family and the kids. The battles and triumphs."

"Emma, you sound like you're ending your book instead of a chapter."

"It's the perfect analogy if you think about it. We don't know what tomorrow will bring."

"I can assure you that it will not bring an end to anything."

"Why? Because you won't allow it? Anything can happen in there, Regina."

"Nothing is going to happen. Other than a routine surgery that will make you better."

She said it with a stern finality that threw me off for a moment. The lightness of our joking demeanor was fading, but I wasn't going to fold. Not if I was depending on her to keep a level and realistic head if things went south.

"Regina, I'm just trying to be realistic for one second, okay. We both know the risks. We both know a number of things can go wrong. Do I hope everything comes out okay and I get to see my kids and grandkids again? Of course. I'm just trying to tell you how I'm feeling, and truthfully, I'm fucking scared. I thought you'd understand."

"Of course I understand!"

She snapped at me, making me jump in my seat as she stood to pace the room.

"I understand perfectly well what can happen, Emma. I've spent every minute of every day while you've been asleep or resting, researching it. I've read all the statics and possible side effects, and the likelihood of reoccurrence. I know!"

"Why are you yelling at me?"

"Because I'm fucking terrified too! Did that ever occur to you?"

My mouth opened to snap back, but for the life of me I couldn't form words. It was like my brain hit pause on my sarcasm button to reanalyzed her statement. My heart jumped into the fray just to break more at the sight of tears in her eyes, stealing all breath from my body.

"You are?"

"What do you think, Emma."

"Why?"

My question surprised us both. I didn't exactly know why I was asking. It's not that I was questioning her motives, but it was clear she wasn't sure how to answer either.

"Why what, Emma? Why do I even care about you. Don't ask me such stupid questions. You're being ridiculous."

"Fine, I'm being ridiculous. Big shocker, I know. But I'm asking you something I really want to know the answer to. I know you're worried about me as my best friend, but-"

"You're more than my best friend, Emma, and you know it! Maybe its you making this into something more than it is."

She practically ran from me to the bar, busying herself making a drink. I got up slowly and went to her side, leaning heavily on the counter. She saw me falter, and even in her upset state, she placed her drink down and was instantly at my side.

"Careful."

"I'm okay. Just got up too fast. Now please. Talk to me, Regina. What's going on?"

I felt her pulling away and caught her elbow to turn her back toward me. I'm not sure if it was the sudden closeness we found ourselves in or the fact that emotions were at a peak. I could see her lip begin to tremble. A sight I had never seen given the wide array of emotions I had witnessed when it came to Regina.

I slowly turned her fully toward me and I placed my hands gently on her hips. She placed her shakey hands at my elbows to steady herself. Tears now falling down both our faces as we just stared at each other, seemingly waiting for the other to break.

"I can't loose you, Emma. So you have to be fine. You said it yourself remember? I've fought too hard to have my happiness taken away from me."

"That was because of the dark curse, not me."

"No, Emma. It was because of you. That's exactly what this is, all over again. Only instead of a dark mass of evilness encircling you to take you away from me, it's this stupid disease. I don't want to loose you to something so out of my control."

The fear in her eyes mirrored that of the faithful day I had taken the dark curse away from her. Like that day, I decided I had to be brave again. I cupped her cheek so that she would focus on my sincerity.

"You could never loose me, Regina. Not really. It'd piss you off too much."

That got a chuckle out of her, and the tension loosened.

"You're right about that."

I wiped the tears from her cheeks and tucked a stray curl back behind her ear. She had kept her hair short and naturally curly since returning from Seattle. Something I never confessed to absolutely swooning after. Almost as much as I had her new foundness of wearing jeans.

When our eyes met again my heart jumped into my throat. Years of holding in my own feelings for the gorgeous woman standing in front of me came to the foreground and I was having a hard time breathing. My thumb on her cheek began to move of it own volition.

I didn't want to be mistaken, but I swear I saw the same emotions I was feeling reflected back at me. Regina's eyes were bouncing between my eyes and my lips. I had to be brave.

"So then why don't we do something we do have control over?"

"What do you mean?"

Without hesitation I leaned forward, one hand cupping her jaw, and kissed her with all the years of yearning to do so. I kept my eyes open only long enough to see hers shoot open wide in surprise, before calming close and kissing me back. I tentatively wrapped my arms around her waist to pull her closer, she happily obliged. We didn't deepen the kiss but stood there pressing our lips together gently. My knees buckled, but she caught me.

"Are you alright? Do you need to sit down?"

"I'm alright, Regina. That was just one hell of a kiss. I knew it'd be powerful, but you almost knocked me out of my socks."

"You mean I didn't? Well that simply won't do."

Before I could respond, I was being pressed back against the island with Regina's lips on mine.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking control of the one thing I can right now, Emma."

With that simple, raspy and sexy voice saying my name, I melted back into her arms and against her lips. This time we deepened our kiss and clinged to each other. My hands seemed to take on a mind of their own as they skimmed up and down her sides and hips. It was when they happened to land on her curvaceous rear end, that she pulled away.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking charge?"

"I don't think so, Miss Swan. You need to save that energy for tomorrow."

She pulled my hands off of her, even after giving her the biggest pout I could.

"But..."

"But nothing. You are having surgery tomorrow and I don't want you going into it with weighted limbs and no energy."

I must have grinned wickedly because she rolled her eyes and took a step back.

"Weighted limbs and no energy? What exactly did you have in mind, Highness?"

She playfully pushed my face away when I leaned back in for another kiss. I didn't let her walk away though, but instead pulled her into a hug. She sunk into my arms and buried her face in my neck, sending goosebumps through my body.

"I've wanted to do that for a very long time."

"As have I. I must admit that you were the one thing I feared most for the last few years."

"Me? The Queen of the United Realms was afraid of little 'ol me?"

"Oh, you know what I mean, Emma."

I pulled back to meet her eyes.

"I do. I was afraid too. But all this talk and thoughts of my mortality kind of gave me the kick in the pants to go for it."

"I see. So you waited til you were ill on the off chance I'd take pity on you."

"You kissed me back out of pity?"

I gave her the lost puppy eyes I knew always gained a reaction from her, and she again playfully pushed me away. A slightly more serious look took over her expression.

"I kissed you for many reasons, Emma."

"I understand, Regina. Honestly I do. But I also think that the reasoning and motivations behind it are a more serious conversation than I have the energy for tonight."

"Understandable. I don't want you going into things tomorrow over analyzing things and worried about our relationship. So I will keep it simple for now."

"Regina, you don't have to hold-."

"I'm in love with you, Emma Swan."

"-back. You're in love with me?"

"I am. I have been for some time."

"And that's keeping things simple?"

"Emma, if it's too much too soon, I-"

I cut her lips off with mine, and poured every ounce of love I had been holding back when it came to Regina Mills, into that kiss. When we pulled away breathless, I had to confess as well.

"It's okay. I've been in love with you too."

"You have?"

"And I thought I was the dense one."

She laughed and pulled me back in for another powerful kiss. When we pulled apart, Regina looked at the kitchen clock and her shoulders slumped.

"I know. I know. We should probably go to bed."

"It's for the best, dear. Would it make you feel better if I joined you?"

"You always sleep with me."

"True, but I don't want you getting any ideas if we share your bed now that we've kissed and admitted our feeling to one another."

"First of all, contrary to what you may believe, Regina, I am not that easy. Second, spending this time with you, and sleeping in the same bed, has been the highlight of my time here in Boston."

"Of course it is."

"Very funny, but I'm being honest. I can't imagine what my time here would have been like without you. I can't tell you how much it's meant to me to have you here with me. I think it just solidified my love for you."

"As it has for me."

"Well good. Then I think I can continue to control myself while sharing a bed with you. That is if you can do the same."

"I will try and control myself."

"Good... for now."

She released a content sigh with a smile before placing another gentle kiss on my lips.

"Emma, It was my love for you that drew me here. I loved you too much to let you do this on your own. I knew this is where I needed to be."

"Well the fact that you willingly handed the kingdom over to my mother, even temporarily, tells me you really do love me."

"Is that so? Well, you not fighting me on every little thing while caring for you, shows me how much you love me."

"Oh, I see. Okay, so you eating Thai food without a nutritional fact sheet, was a love confession on its own."

"You putting your clothes IN the hamper."

"You watching the Investigation channel with me."

"Learning the science behind potions."

"Playing Chutes and Ladders."

"Oh, enough."

My next comeback was cut off by playful lips laughing against mine. When we pulled apart, I took her hand and led us to my room. We had already changed into our pajamas earlier, so Regina pulled down the covers while I brushed my teeth and washed up. While she took her turn, I killed the overhead lights.

When we crawled under the covers and turned off the lamps, Regina came up and spooned me, kissing my shoulder and cheek.

"Everything will be fine tomorrow, you hear me. Now that we have this, I won't let it go. Not without one hell of a fight. I expect you to do the same."

"Yes, your Highness."

"Good. Now go to sleep. I love you, Emma."

"I love you too, Regina."


	2. Part 2 - Regina

I'll Stand by You - Pt2 Regina

This waiting is madness. Stupid, ridiculous madness. Waiting hours for the doctor to come in with an update while twiddling my useless thumbs. With nothing better to do but pace this sterile waiting room, with a large fish tank as my only source of entertainment. If we were back in Storybrooke, I would have gone to the woods and blown things up to exert some of this pent up frustration and emotion. But not in this damn mortal world. Oh, God. I'm starting to sound philosophical. I must be delirious.

To add to the frustration, I've already received three calls from Snow checking on Emma's progress. No matter how many times I assured her I would call with updates as soon as I had any, she persisted. I finally talked to David and made him promise to keep her at bay for a while until I had news to share. Seems my promises mean nothing today, because he followed up with two calls of his own. If it weren't for the very real fear that the entire clan would show up here at the hospital in a caravan; I would have turned off my phone completely.

The doctor told us the operation would take a few hours. Rationally I kept telling myself that I could go get some fresh air or get something to eat; but I couldn't leave until I knew Emma was okay. I did, however, call the rehabilitation center Emma had lined up and canceled her stay all together. As her 'wife,' I spoke to the head charge nurse about taking care of Emma on my own, sans any emergencies of course. She assured me by talking me through things to expect and look out for, as well as where to get more care information here at the hospital.

The informative pamphlets the hospital supplied for caring for loved ones at home after surgery, were very educational. I had already read through them a couple times over while waiting. I knew Emma would be excited to learn she would be returning to the suite instead of the rehab facility. I took out on of the pamphlets to review again, but paused on the title. 'Caring for Loved Ones.'

I've known for some time now that I considered Emma a loved one. Since we stopped trying to kill each other, and became friends and co-mothers and grandmothers. Since Emma pulled a curse from my body moments before it engulfed me, because she cared more about my happiness than her own.

It had been while I was looking through that black vortex of dark magic into her equally scared eyes, that two hard truths became obvious to me. The first was that I was in love with Emma Swan; the bane of my existence. The second was the very real fact that Emma would take what was left of my heart if anything were to happen to her.

Knowing now that she loved me then, I wish we had both been brave enough to admit our feelings for each other. But we both had our thieves, and their deaths complicated things. Especially since the pirate's had unfortunately not been permanent. Seeing her fight so hard for that prepubescent stubbled nitwit had been hard for me. To this day, I try my best not to let my true feelings for Hook show. At least not any further than my usual disdain for the moron. I had always respected that Hook was what Emma wanted, and I would never have intervened. Not when she cared just as much about my happiness as I did hers. Thank goodness that chapter of her life was over.

At least she had Hope out of the marriage. I knew that deep down Emma always wanted the chance to raise a baby. We had never talked about it too in depth, but I knew how hard putting Henry up for adoption had been for her. Although I believe that guilt has lessen over the years, I see it in her eyes every once in a while.

I turned my back on the fish tank, and the puffer fish that seemed to be judging me, to begin rubbing the bridge of my nose. My watch told me it had only been thirty minutes since I last looked. Henry text this time asking for an update. With none to give I just sent him my love and another promise to contact him first thing.

Henry. The kid that was still that small little ten year old runaway in my mind, now had a wife and a twelve year old daughter, with another baby on the way. Our ever receptive son had confronted me once about my feeling for Emma, right before her wedding. I know he was disappointed that I held my peace and did not speak up. But the truth still stands now, that I will always fight for her happiness, even if it means sacrificing my own. She deserves it.

None of that mattered now. Granted that I had confessed out of fear, but it was a confession nonetheless. I loved her, and she loved me. No doubt it was an example of her idiocy to love someone with a past like mine. But that was the bottom line, was it not? Emma knows more about me than any other being in this realm or the next. The fact that we were now free to explore our feelings for each other, made this idiotic wait even more torturous.

I would never voice this fear, because the irrational side of me believes saying it out loud would give it power. But with my history and never-ending happiness road blocks, I was afraid that Emma and I would be robbed of our chance to be together before it even started. My will for her to survive was at its height, and this wait is preposterous!

"Mrs. Swan-Mills?"

"Yes? That's me. Is Emma out of surgery? Is she alright?"

"She's doing great. The surgery went completely textbook, and she should be coming out of anesthesia soon. A nurse will come get you once she's settled in recovery."

"Oh, thank goodness."

"Listen, I know that spouses tend to stress themselves out waiting on days like today. You should take a huge sigh of relief and try to relax. You have enough time now to go get a bite to eat if you'd like. In fact, I strongly encourage it. The hard part is over for now, and I'm guessing you probably also have calls to make to other family?"

"That's true, but I'm not sure I could."

"I can give the nurses your cell number to page you the moment you can go see your wife."

"Thank you, Dr. Garsa, but I couldn't possibly leave. I want to see her first."

"I understand. I can assure you, though, that Emma did great. Remember we caught this early. I'm confident that after this surgery and her follow up treatments, she'll beat this yet. Of course, we'll still need to monitor her and schedule regular screenings, but it's looking very promising for now."

"Thank you. No matter how many times I hear that, I can't tell you what it means to me. Thank you for everything, Doctor."

"My pleasure, Mrs. Swan-Mills."

I wanted to hug the small mousey doctor smiling at me with kind eyes. We had met a few times now, and he had always been very knowledgeable and well spoken in explaining things. He took his time with his patients and it was something that I very much appreciated. If I thought I could sell it, I'd invite him to take Dr. Whale's position as head of Storybrooke's Hospital.

"I must say, Dr. Garsa. I can't tell you how much your straight forwardness has helped get me through this. I don't think I have to tell you that having a doctor that won't pull back punches, and explain things so well, is a very rare thing."

"Thank you-."

"Regina, please. I think you've earned it."

"Thank you, Regina. I must say that seeing a couple like you and your wife gives me hope for my daughter. She's still searching for her Mrs. Right. Her mother and I are being as supportive as we can be with some of the toads she's dated."

"Well you know the old saying, doctor. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs to get to your prince. Or princess as it were."

"Ah, that's fairy tale stuff. I'll just be happy if she walks away without any warts."

We shared a small laugh before he excused himself. Emma would have gotten a chuckle out of that. I could just hear the snickering. I pulled out my phone to begin calls back home. I called Henry first, and Duey was with him and Jacenda.

Duey. It was hard seeing the face of my son on a stranger. Duey was never raised by me, and only knew me as the Evil Queen in his realm. It had taken some time for us to reach the relationship we have now, which was always a bit strained at best. I try and tell myself that he is Henry's distant cousin that happens to look a lot like him. It seems to work until Duey grins or smiles a certain way that is uniquely Henry.

Both Henry's were relieved to hear Emma was out of surgery and recovering. I was also able to talk to Lucy and assure her that her other grandmother was on the mend. I promised to FaceTime with them when Emma was up to it. When I called Snow and David, I had to be quick in saying she was okay, because I was hit with a barrage of questions as soon as they picked up the line.

I abruptly hung up with Snow when the nurse came in looking for me to follow her to Emma's recover room. Tears instantly fell from my eyes at the sight of her laying asleep in her hospital bed. I wish I had thought to pack her lucky beanie when I reached out and rubbed her poor shaved head, and pressed my lips to her forehead.

"You're crying on me."

I pulled back with a laugh and she smiled weakly up at me before falling back asleep after we exchanged a few words, and more than a few kisses. It's amazing how one doesn't realize they weren't breathing until they take that first relieved breath. Emma was okay and I was with her to ensure it.

She was in and out of the hospital in two days. Doctor Garsa felt confident releasing her after she proved she could get up with minimal assistance and could use the facilities on her own, or with my aid. They released her into my care and we returned to our suite. Emma was so very weak for the first week after her surgery, but the medications seemed to help her recuperate.

As soon as she was strong enough to argue with me, however, she wanted off of the pain meds. Emma never was one to take even an aspirin when she was in pain, so it was of no surprise to me. She was smart enough, though, not to argue with me on taking them when I could clearly see she was in more pain than usual.

We returned to our routine of marathoning her favorite show, but this time we did it from my room. Emma had insisted on the ridiculous move from her room across the suite for a 'change in scenery.' I did anything she wanted in those following weeks, though, and would begrudge her nothing.

Every night she fell asleep in my arms, I would feel my heart squeeze in my chest. Every time I made her a meal, or helped her through her morning routines, I counted myself lucky to be the one there for her. The whole bathroom situation had been a bit embarrassing at first, but we quickly moved passed it. I do believe it was Emma's main motivation to get on her feet fast enough to do things on her own.

The first night I had drawn a tub full of bubbles for her, she had seemed apprehensive about undressing completely in front of me funny enough.

"Surely you're not getting shy on me, Miss Swan."

"No, I'm just a little worried about getting in and out of there."

"Well, that is why I am here to help you. There's no need for modesty, dear."

"I'm not being modest, Regina. Remember I was the one that answered the door in a tank top and panties. Completely throwing you off your game."

"Oh, you did no such thing."

"Please. You practically forgot you were there to poison me."

"That is ridic-"

"What color were my panties?"

"Red. But that is beside the point."

She grinned at me with a wink and walked into her bathroom, leaving me to chew through my lip. She seemed to revel in teasing me in everything I did to help her. But turnabout is fair play, and I gave as good as I got when it came to it. It was a sort of silent understanding that we never carried things too far, however.

Since our love confessions, we had done nothing more intimate than embrace and exchange kisses. For my part, I felt it was obviously too soon for anything more physical. Not to say that cuddling up together to watch tv, sometimes ended with heavy make out sessions. Or our favorite pastime of her napping with her head on my lap, as I read and rubbed her back. We were being intimate on a different level. One that was still new and special to both of us. We enjoyed doing things we could have done as friends, but with a more loving motive behind each glance and touch.

We would kiss each other every night before bed, and I would kiss her sleeping form every morning before quietly rising to start the day. I purposely got up before her, to gather her medications and prepare a small breakfast. In those early days after surgery, she could handle no more than jammed toast or a plain bagel. When she began to feel better, I started adding eggs and bacon to the mix. I even indulged Emma's taste for certain cereals as long as I agreed with their nutritional values, and limited their sugar content.

I dare say that it made things feel like we were an old married couple that had been going through these paces for years. All we needed were matching night gowns and maybe a dog. That image always brought a smile to my face.

A couple of days before we planned to return to Storybrooke, I decided we should celebrate by going out for a proper dinner. Emma had been doing remarkably well, and I felt the need to spoil her before returning home. She refused to let me take her to anything "too fancy," as she was still self-conscious about her lack of hair and weaken state. It didn't matter how beautiful I told her she was, I could tell not to push her on it.

We decided to go to a local 50's themed diner one of the concierge's had recommended. I was mortified when our waiter had thrown straws on our table and groaned in annoyance about having to tend to us. Emma's hand on mine stopped me from saying something about his rude behavior, and she explained it was part of the diner's act. Each server had a different character they portrayed, and had costumes to match. Out waiter was dressed in a little kid's cowboy costume, and acted like a brat it seemed.

With our drinks ordered, I was thrilled for the first time ever when Emma ordered a milkshake and onion rings. The old craving made a welcomed appearance after months of Emma not eating well. I urged her to eat anything she wished, but it seemed the onion rings and shake were enough for her. When our food was delivered, a song began that had all the servers jump up on the counters to sing and dance along. I must admit it had been fun laughing and cheering them on.

"That can't be sanitary, but I'll let it go because this is too much fun."

"I'm glad to see you letting your hair down. It looks good on you."

"You flatter me."

"It's true, Regina. How many chances have you and I had to actually sit down for a meal without threat of being interrupted by a new big bad or my family, or both?"

"You better knock on wood, throw salt over your shoulder, light some sage or something right now, Emma Swan."

"That's Mrs. Swan-Mills, thank you very much. And I am going to enjoy every last minute of playing your wife before we go home."

I don't know why my first reaction to that statement was sadness. It must have shown on my face because suddenly my hand was being squeezed by hers. Emma dropped money on our table and held onto my hand as she led me out of the diner. We were about a block away when we happened upon a small park lined with benches. She led me to take a seat one, and wrapped her arm around my shoulders.

"Hey."

"I apologize Emma, but I think I must have been living in a bubble until now. It's funny that we keep referring to our time here in Boston, as living in the real world. I feel like going home back to Storybrooke should is us heading back to the real world."

"I guess you're right. As much as I miss our family back home, and I really can't wait to see Hope, I've really enjoyed having you all to myself in this world."

"As have I, Emma. May I ask you a stupid question?"

"You just did."

I pinched her side before cuddling closer.

"I'm serious. I know it's going to sound silly, but I just have to know. When we return to Storybrooke... what's going to happen to us?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you and I..."

"Oh. You want to know if you and I will continue to be 'us' once we return?"

"Yes. Again, I know it's a silly insecurity, but-."

My words were cut off by her soft lips on mine, and a warm hand cupping my cheek. She gave me no opportunity to speak again as she continued to press kisses against my lips. When she did pull away to breath for a moment, I melted into her arms and at the reassuring smile she gave me.

"Regina, I am all yours if you'll have me. I'm so in love with you that there's no turning back. A part of me has always known I should be with you. It just makes sense when I think about it. You've fought so hard to be the woman you are now, and somehow between admiring and respecting you for it, I've fallen deeper in love with you."

"You have?"

"Baby, if I thought you'd take it, I'd put a ring on your finger right now."

"If that's your marriage proposal, Emma Swan, I'm afraid you're going to have to do better than that."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, really. I am a Queen, afterall. You can't just assume quoting a Beyoncé song will woo me into marrying you."

"Woo you? I need to woo you into marrying me?"

"Oh, quit giving me those puppy eyes. You should know how high my standards are by now. I expect a sonnet."

"Uh-huh."

"A grand gesture, like doves."

"Uh-huh."

"And of course, a decent-sized ring fit for a Queen."

"Of course, of course."

"And unfortunately, as Queen, our wedding will have to be a grand affair. Leaders from the other realms will attend."

"Obviously. Don't forget the magical invitations, and the horse-drawn carriage we'll arrive and depart in."

"Naturally. Oh, and Hope will make a perfect flower girl."

"As long as she doesn't have to wear a dress."

"She does seem to have your distaste for them. I suppose we will need to find an alternative."

"We could make Duey the flower boy and Hope the ring bearer."

"Oh Lord, Emma. Can you not take anything seriously?"

"Of course I can."

Before I could speak again, Emma released her hold on me and moved to the ground. I panicked briefly when I thought she might have fainted, but then she turned toward me on bent knee with a ring in her hand.


	3. Chapter 3

I'll Stand by You - Pt3 Emma

Leave it to Regina to set things up perfectly for me by taking my marriage quip as a joke. Yes, I had a ring handy, and yes I was kneeling before her with it in hand. But I hadn't planned on doing this tonight, or any time soon really. I did, however, want to see how she felt on the subject. By the shocked look on her face, my confidence was fading.

Marriage had not been successful for either of us. Or in Regina's case even voluntary. Although I had started this conversation between us, I was surprised at how she had taken off with it. Sure we were joking, but when she brought up Hope being our flower girl, she got this look in her eyes that I had only seen when she spoke about Henry or Lucy.

Regina had a kinship with my daughter that I absolutely found adorable. Whenever she came over to my place, Hope would run into her arms yelling, "Nina! Nina!" A name Regina never once contested and responded to lovingly. Hope was her little 'Button' and Regina showered her with gifts. Who knew my little girl could reduce someone like the reformed Evil Queen into a pile of mush?

I knew we were just joking around. Sitting on a random bench in Boston, talking about marriage and a grand wedding. It was also no coincidence that I had a ring in my pocket. Truth is its been there for a while waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself. Ever since she had given me the beautiful sapphire ring that I had yet to take off, other than for surgery, I had wanted to return the gesture with a ring of her own.

Years before Henry and Storybrooke came into my life, I had found this old ring in this very city. By found, I mean I saw the old gold band with a line of rubies and diamonds, sitting on a counter of a antique store unwatched and unguarded. I had it in my head to give it to Regina so that my wife would not be without a ring. I just never found the right moment to present it to her that would hold more meaning than, 'Oh, by the way, here's one for you too.'

So there I was in the middle of a park in Boston, on bent knee with a ring suddenly in hand. Regina looking expectedly at me. I wasn't sure if the look on her face was one of surprise, terror, or possibly nausea?

"Emma, what are you doing?"

"What else? Something stupid."

I could see she was about to protest, especially since we were drawing a small crowd. I wasn't going to let it stop what I wanted to say, though. I took her hand and simply placed the ring in her palm. Giving her time to inspect it.

"Regina. This ring can mean many things, or nothing really if you don't want it to. I don't want you to do something you don't want, or aren't ready for. I don't want pressure you."

"Emma, you've never pressured me. You're the only person in all the realms that has never pressured me to do anything. You've maybe irritated me into making a decision before, or annoyed me when you didn't agree with me. But you've never pressured me."

"And I never would. You've had enough of that in your life, and if there's one thing that I know is within my power to do for you, it's that. I will always give you a choice. I will always let you decide."

"I know. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Like I said, this ring could be something or nothing, your choice. It sure as hell doesn't need to mean a marriage proposal either, because we both know that's a little too soon for the both of us. I just, I don't know. I guess I want you to know that I am serious about this. About us. I know I don't need to give you anything physical to say that, but-."

I felt like I had effectively stuck my foot in my mouth now. I lost track of my thoughts, and I wasn't making any sense even to myself at that moment. I didn't want to backtrack though.

"Listen, why don't you think of this as a fancy piece of jewelry that you throw in a box for another day. So this is not a marriage proposal; it's just me telling you that I'm crazy about you and I want this. I've wanted you for a long time. You were just always this... unicorn."

"Unicorn?"

"Yeah, a magical, majestic being. Not someone to capture and control, but someone that belongs on a pedestal to stare at in awe."

"Magical and majestic? Two words I don't believe have never been used to describe me."

"Well, they should because it's true. You just always seemed like this unattainable person that I convinced myself I could only have as a friend. I accepted that a long time ago, and I was okay with it."

"So now you want to be just friends?"

"No! God no, Regina. I mean yes, I want to continue to be your friend, but like I said I want so much more than that now. I'm convinced that I need you in my life. I mean, I don't even want to think about where I'd be right now if you had not come to Boston."

"Rehab."

"Okay smarty, I'm trying to be serious here."

"I apologize. Continue."

At that point, people that had been caught up in the spontaneous park proposal began to disperse because nothing was happening. I sat back down on the bench because my knee began to give.

"Listen, I know one hundred percent that things would have been worse for me, solely for the fact that I'd be doing this without you. You made everything so much easier here. Add that to the fact that you ran my medical care like a boss. None of the nurses or doctors knew how to handle you."

"Except Dr. Garsa. I quiet like him."

"Except for Dr. Garsa, who wouldn't hurt a fly. He was pretty awesome."

"Yes he was. I felt comfortable with his decisions, and he was very impressive."

"He was. I'm happy with him, and the fact that you didn't scare him was also amazing. You helped translate what they were all telling me, and I knew that my decisions were guided easier for it."

I saw tears forming in her eyes and cupped her cheek again, leaning in to kiss her lightly on the lips.

"I love you Regina. You standing by me through all this has solidified that completely. I mean you left your throne to my mother for goodness sake. If that's not a deceleration of love, I don't know what is."

"That is very true."

Her modesty was hilarious, and the tension broke. We sat back on the bench and I watched her inspect the ring in her hand. I couldn't wipe the grin off my face when she placed it on her finger.

"It's red. I thought you might appreciate that."

"You would be correct. I love rubies."

"Good. Looks like it fits well."

"Indeed."

I took her hand and kissed her knuckles. Giving her a grin I hoped she knew was sincere.

"So what do you say? Want to be my girlfriend, your highness?"

"The Queen of the united realms has a girlfriend. What will the royals think?"

"Screw them. I'm only interested in what Regina wants."

"What I want? Well it has been a very long time since that has been a consideration hasn't it?"

"It has, but this is pretty damn important for you to decide on your own."

I'm not a hundred percent sure if it was done for dramatic effect or to string me along a bit longer, but she seemed to take her time contemplating. She'd look at the ring on her finger and sigh, then rub her chin.

"Regina?"

"Yes, dear?"

"Are you going to answer me?"

"I thought I wasn't to be pressured."

"I'm not pressuring you in the slightest. I just didn't think being asked to be my girlfriend would take such contemplation after everything."

"Well it is a heavy decision. I have to think about the kingdom, the throne, my reputation."

"You can be the one to tell my parents, if you want. Might get a faint spell out of one of them, if not both. You can have the kid video it."

"Alright then, I agree."

I couldn't help but laugh hard at that. I knew without a doubt that she'd enjoy telling my parents that we were now together. I'm pretty sure we were both picturing the goldfish like reactions we would get out of them.

"Come on then. Let's head back to the suite. I'm getting a little tired and it'll be time for my meds soon."

"You're right, it's a bit later than I thought. You did very well on our outing."

"Yeah, I think I did alright. Could definitely use a nap now, though. Want to go back and cuddle on the couch?"

"Sounds perfect. How's your pain level right now?"

"Not too bad, honestly. I'm just feeling a little drained."

"Let's go then. I know you still need to call your parents when we get back too."

I groaned loudly as we made our way out of the park.

Talking to my parents had to be an every night thing, otherwise they'd blow up my phone or texts with a barage of stupid questions. The kids were satisfied with my texts, but my parents seemed to want hourly updates on my condition and location, up until the moment we were home again.

We finished preparing and packing our things two days before our leave. Wanting to make sure I didn't exert myself to much before the long drive. We had only been in Boston a couple of months, but had accumulated enough things in our time that we had to buy an additional case to haul things back.

We decided to spend the last day spoiling ourselves with the hotel guest services we had not indulged in before. We ordered all our meals in, even indulging in morning mimosas. We received side-by-side couples massages right in our suite, and it was pure heaven. Regina made sure my masseuse knew to be extra careful with me, and I was loose as a noodle afterwards.

For dinner, we ordered their top tier four course dinner, delivered right to our room. Complete with a fancy tablecloth and candlelit set up. It was as romantic as it could get, set up by our large windows overlooking the city. It went without saying that we were both looking forward to being home, but not about leaving our solitude.

After romantic dinner we changed into our pajamas and met back on the couch. Regina had turned off the main lights and opened the curtains so that we could continue to enjoy Boston's city lights. We cuddled up on the couch across from the electric fireplace, with me reclined in her arms. A routine I was quickly becoming addicted to.

"I hate that we'll be traveling back in separate cars. It's going to make the drive in my bug that much more boring."

"We're not driving separately, dear. We're taking your car."

"Say what?"

"I sold my car."

"You sold your car?"

"Yes. Truth be told, it was beyond time to get rid of it. I haven't driven it it in a long time, and I don't really need it back home anymore. The Queen is escorted everywhere, afterall. Besides, you are more attached to your yellow tin can than I am of my vehicle, So I just turned mine in. Maybe I'll give the money to Henry so they have a new car when the baby comes."

"That's not a bad idea. So you're voluntarily going to let me drive us home? In my car? No arguments?"

"Yes, I would rather drive home together in your car. Unfortunately, you will need to do the driving as I never learned to drive manual. We can make as many stops as you need, though, and you must promise me that we will."

"Nah, I'm use to long treks. Shouldn't be a problem, but I promise I will stop to rest. Are you sure, Regina?"

"I'm positive that I would rather be in the car with you, than following behind in another vehicle all the way back to Maine."

"Wow. You really do love me."

Her classic eye roll made me fall that little bit more in love with her.

"So, dear. What shall we do for the rest of our last night of freedom in the big city?"

Oh, I had plenty of ideas for that. Especially with the way her hand had made its way under my pajama shirt to rub my stomach; but I knew that wasn't happening anytime soon. I think that even on a good day at the top of my game, I would need to do some major stretching and hydrating before jumping into that with Regina. No, that was going to have to wait.

"I have an idea. Why don't I draw you a bath, dear. You can enjoy a good soak while I make sure things are set for the morning."

"Regina, we've already checked and double checked everything we packed. You don't need to do that. I also already told Jimmy to be here at six to take our luggage down to the car for us. We're set."

She seemed to deflate a bit, like I had gone over her head. I tried to hold back a giggle when she moved me to stand and walk to her room. She made a small circle in there, and then came back out. When she went into my room and did the same thing, I couldn't hold back my laugh any longer, but waited for her next move.

"Well then, I have no clue as to what to do with myself. I'll be honest, it's a bit unsettling."

That had me laughing harder and reaching for her to join me back on the couch. Instead of letting her take the seat next to me, I pulled her onto my lap. Wrapping my arms around her, I kissed her cheek and began to sway her soothingly. Truly surprised when she leaned into it.

"I need to move. I'll squish you."

"Squish me? Babe, you're like 130 wet, max. You will not squish me."

"As flattering as I'm sure that was, I don't want to hurt you. And don't call me babe."

"Pookie?"

"You're exhausting."

She didn't move but leaned further into me. Regina Mills was a cuddler no matter how much she protested to the contrary.

"I have no idea what to do for our last night."

"Regina, It's okay. We can chill tonight, cuddled up on the couch and watch television like we have been. We had massages, a nice dinner, another nice walk through the park. I'm good. Aren't you?"

"I suppose. I just feel we should be doing something special."

She moved off my lap onto the cushions beside me. I gave her the cutest pout I could pull, but she just kissed my cheek with a sigh. She really was racking her brain for something to do.

"Listen, sweetheart. Like I said, I've had plenty of fun today. We both know that I probably won't have much energy left for more. I love just being with you. I don't need anything else."

That seemed to relax her a bit, but I could tell she still wasn't convinced. I decided to go for broke and see if she'd be open to my idea.

"Alright, listen. I do have an idea, but I'm not sure you'll be game for it."

"Well what is it? I could be up for it."

"Well you mentioned a bath earlier. That actually sounds perfect."

"I don't understand. Why wouldn't I be up for drawing you a bath?"

"Because I would love for you to join me in said bath."

To say she looked shocked would be stretch. She actually looked like she was contemplating it.

"I promise, nothing funny or crazy. Just a nice soak in that ridiculously giant tub. I'm pretty sure if we tried hard enough we can both soak without touching each other in that thing. Plus, I don't know when I'll get a chance to enjoy something like that again. I'd hate to say I never got the chance to soak in one with you."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry too much about that. My tub at home is about the same size, if not a little larger. My jets are a thousand times more quiet as well."

"Really? Imagine the possibilities."

"Indeed."

We stood together and head toward my room. She headed into the en suit to start the tub, while I took a seat on the bed and pulled my socks off. How was this going to play out? Would I be able to look and touch? Would she let me hold her? Would it all be too much?

"I do believe you need to strip to bathe my dear."

In my panic, time seemed to have passed long enough that Regina was now standing in the doorway to the bathroom wearing only her robe.

Holy shit!

"I, huh, got distracted."

"Yes, I can see how taking your socks off may be puzzling for some."

"Isn't there a rule that says you can't insult me now that we're dating. Because I feel there should be."

"Oh, what would be the fun in that? Besides, the cosmic makeup of the universe would be thrown off its axis if I wasn't remotely sarcastic. Especially toward you, dear."

"True story. Alright then, let's do this I guess."

"Are you having reservations?"

I watched her subconsciously close the gap in her robe, almost in an insecure way. I wasn't expecting that at all so I got to my feet. With a sly grin on my face I pushed my pajama pants to the floor, quickly stripping off my top as well and leaving me in my boy shorts. My fumble received a cute little giggle, mission accomplished.

I covered my breasts with my arms. Not from being shy, but still not sure what the protocol was going to be in this situation. My mind flashed back to all those years ago when Regina had come to visit my room at Granny's. Me in a tank top and underwear seemed to have the same effect on her now as it did then. I could see her eyes repeatedly dropping to my legs.

"I wasn't sure how... well how naked did you want to get? I can get in like this, or grab my sports bra too, if it would make you more comfortable."

"Not necessary."

She dropped the robe in the archway and turned to enter the other room, while I had a mini heart attack and followed slowly. By the time I entered, she was already submerging herself in the warm bubbly water. Looking at her gorgeous form, wet hair and smooth olive skin, I became self conscious and covered myself.

Here was this beautiful woman, sitting naked in a tub waiting for me and I was hesitating. I had lost so much weight, not to mention all my hair. My skin was more pale than ever before, and I just didn't feel right. The overwhelming feeling of not deserving someone like Regina engulfed me with the added weight of not feeling physically adequate.

"Emma, look at me. Get out of your head. You need to let go of whatever insecurities going through your mind right now, because I can see you withdrawing. The purpose of this bath is solely to relax and enjoy each other's company."

I knew she was right, because of course she was. I was still recovering and it was a given that my body took a hit. Since the surgery I had hid my body well in overstuffed hoodies and baggy shirts. I don't think I've seen a tank top until this past week.

"Darling, if you are having naughty thoughts that are keeping you from joining me, I suggest you power through them quickly as the water is cooling. We will have plenty of opportunities to indulge in those activities later when we are both ready. Right now, all you need to do is let go, get in this delicious water and relax with me."

The sincere eyes she gave me with a small grin told me she understood perfectly well what my fucked up brain was processing. She was also leaving it up to me if I wanted to elaborate further.

"I know. I'm sorry, I just-."

"No explanation needed, Emma. Unless you want to talk about it. Either way, if it's alright with you, I'd like very much for you to join me. And if you are not opposed to the idea, possibly let me hold you."

"You want to hold me?"

"Yes. Very much so."

The moment I slipped into the water, she pulled me sideways onto her lap and wrapped her arms around my shoulders, squeezing. She pressed a kiss to the top of my peach-fuzz head, and encouraged me to lay back with her under the cover of bubbles. We spent a solid fifteen minutes without saying a word. It was amazing.

I had taken baths with lovers before. It's fun as long as you don't mind getting water everywhere at times. Or pruning up from staying in too long. This was different, though. Obviously because I was naked in a tub with Regina Mills, but mostly because there was absolutely nothing sexy about it. Well, Regina's always sexy, but this was less about sex, and more intimate.

"Regina."

"Yes, dear?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Everything. For being there for me. Taking care of me. Looking out for me. For being you. I love you."

"You better."

The roadtrip home went without a problem, and ended up being fun. We stopped a couple of times to stretch our legs, and once to grab lunch. It reminded me of our road trip to find Henry all those years before. Rather Regina wanted to admit it or not, she enjoyed my music and corny car ride games. Although I regret teaching her how to play 'Punch Bug.' She seemed to find every other VW Bug in our path before I spotted them, and anytime we walked back to my car she'd playfully punch my arm.

We made it to Storybrooke with a little daylight to spare, and we text the family to meet us at Granny's for an early dinner. Hook was the first to arrive with Hope. He had been our first call, and he headed over to the diner as soon as he received word we had crossed the town line. I held onto my babygirl so tightly that everyone else received their hug with her between us.

We were only there a couple of hours before I was searching the room for Regina to go home. I had tried my best to keep up with everyone, but I could feel myself begin to fade. At one point Regina had taken Hope from me to relieve me a bit, and I almost fell asleep at the table. We began to make our excuses to retire back to the mansion.

My mother, or course, protested and pouted harder than I had seen her do in a long time. Regina stepped in and suggested we all meet late the next morning at their farm for brunch. The thought of organizing a brunch did the trick, and Mom was practically bouncing on the balls of her feet in excitement. She hugged me goodnight without further protest, and surprised Regina by pulling her in for one too. The shocked look she shot me over my mom's shoulder had the whole room snickering.

Back at the mansion, Regina insisted that I settle on her couch while she took care of Hope. My babygirl had passed out in the car before we even pulled away from the curb, and was currently nestled in Regina's arms. I placed a goodnight kiss on her dark head of hair, and another on Regina's lips before they headed upstairs. She took her to Henry's old room, which already housed a rollaway crib along with his old twin bed. The bedroom had been used many times by our grand babies and my baby siblings.

Something not a lot of people knew about Reinga, was her deep love of children. They assumed with Henry and all, that she didn't completely hate them; but she adored kids and especially babies. The mansion was always supplied with healthy snacks, games, movies, and even extra play clothing in case its needed. She even had a selection of diapers in a hall closet. All she needed was a mini-van with stick figure decals, and she'd be a soccer mom.

I think that more than anything, though, she absolutely loved getting them ready for bed, and tucking them in for the night. I'm talking everything from splashing baths to kisses goodnight. Oh, and the bedtime stories with animated voices. She'd be horrified if anyone other than the kids witnessed that. I bet if any of the kids asked her to, she totally would. It was yet another reason it was so easy to love this woman.

Once Hope was settled, Regina returned to me with the same expected look she gave the children when it's time for to go to bed. I couldn't help but chuckle at the hands on her hips, and stood without prompt to follow her upstairs. She pulled out a pair of pajamas for me, leaving me for the en suite to change. It felt only half strange, but completely normal to be there in her bedroom.

We had developed our own nightly routine while in Boston, and it seems we were carrying it on back here at home. It was so domestic that it felt like we had been doing it for years. Like Fred and Ethel, but without the overwhelming desire to kill each other. Well, maybe sometimes. But in a completely loving way.

"What are you laughing about over there?"

"I was just thinking that we have this nightly routine down, like an old tv married couple. We just need matching robes and house slippers. Oh, and they have to be monogrammed or something too!"

Regina held up a finger and walked into her closet. When she returned she was holding two deep burgundy silk robes on hangers in one hand, and two pairs of matching colored slippers in the other. I didn't see initials, but both the robes and the slippers had embroidered crowns on them.

"You gotta be kidding me. You just magic'd those, didn't you?"

"I did not. I've had these for a while. They're really quiet comfortable. I loved them so much that I bought two more a few years ago. They are my favorite, feel."

"Wow. Okay, so now we just need to monogram them and we're set. I'll ask Granny."

Regina laid them on the bed and cracked her knuckles. The magic that had returned to us when we crossed the town line, practically crackling through her fingers. She waved her hand over the robes and our scripted initials appeared on each of the robes.

"Ask, and ye shall receive."

"Really? I'll just have to remember that for another day."

That one earned me a pillow to the face before she returned the items to her closet. We crawled under her soft warm sheets, and snuggled in for the night. It was pure heaven to me. Yes, we had been sharing the same bed in Boston, but we were home now. We were home and in Regina's bed. In her sheets. Her room. It was a completely different feeling that I wanted to relish in forever.

I think if I were to analyze things I'd be more surprised that no one questioned me moving in with Regina. Hope and I had taken up residence there since my return from Boston, and I loved it. Regina and I had grown so close in Boston, that a large part of me had been afraid things would change when we returned home.

Obviously some things did change with my family being this much closer, and more involved. They all want a hand in taking care of me now that I'm home and not hundreds of miles away. My mother more so than the others of course. Since returning the crown to Regina and wrapping things up for the school year, Mom had a lot of time on her hands.

To Regina's annoyance, my mom kept bringing over casseroles and bakes for me. Like I'd starve without them, or like they held more magic than anything Regina could make for me. I don't know what possessed her, but my mom and dad brought a lasagna over and I thought I saw actual smoke coming from Regina's ears. Ever the Queen, she politely thanked them, straightened her back, took the dish, and left me to visit with them while she threw it in the freezer.

I had to wait for my parent's to leave to tease her on that one. I also discretely asked my mom to knock it off. I played it off by telling her that cooking for me was one of Regina's favorite things to do, and made her feel important. So Mom backed off on the dishes, and was satisfied with bringing me things for Hope.

Mom's time on the throne while we were away, had not gone without incident either. We found out that she took it upon herself to redesign the grand assembly room where the leaders from the realms met with the Queen. I again thought Regina was going to loose her mind with that one, but when Mom gave us a tour of what she did, we were both actually pleasantly surprised.

Mom had commissioned a very talented artist from one of the other realms to create tapestries that included coat of arms for each realm. All were new designs made to compliment and highlight what made each realm unique. Storybrooke's tapestry had the clock tower hidden in the design, along with the book that started it all. Mom thought it was a "neat idea" to incorporate a flower from each realm as well.

All in all, she actually pulled it off nicely and both Regina and I complimented her sincerely. Which of course in turn made my Mom cry like a giant hormonal mess. If I didn't know better, I'd have thought she was pregnant again. But that is what happens when someone like Queen Regina Mills compliments you. You get down right emotional because you know it may never happen again.

Regina suggested Mom organize a ball to showcase the remodeled hall and the tapestries, to the leaders of the United Realms. Mom was so excited by the idea that she hit the ground running. We were just ecstatic that it kept her occupied with something other than me for a couple of weeks. I was given a reprieve from attending the shin-dig because I confessed I was still to self conscious for a public appearance as of yet. Mom and Regina understood and did not pressure me to go.

The leaders of the United Realms were honored when they saw what had been done for them, and Mom's pride radiated through the hall. She and Regina presented the artist of the tapestries with a reward, as well as a plaque that would be placed in the hall detailing his commission.

Dad told me that Regina had made a speech, first thanking the attendees for coming, and then thanking Mom for all her hard work. To which Mom apparently lost her composure and began crying while clinging to Regina. Not too hard to believe, but definitely something I would have loved to have seen.


End file.
